"This was a story about a girl who could find infinite beauty in anything..."-The Brothers Bloom

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Still Fighting

        I don't understand why people are so defensive when it comes to looking at their character flaws. Why wouldn't you want to see yourself as others see you? And if you do something or act in a way that is either hurtful or just not cool, wouldn't you want to change that? But no, if you point out something that was wack (for lack of a better term) you'll get whiplash from the verbal assualt that inevitably ensues. Perhaps most people just don't care about whether they have character or not. If I point out when someone is being a jerk (not just anyone, usually someone I care about, and in a nice way!) it's because I assume they would rather not be one. Maybe I'm wrong. It's not that I think I never do anything wrong or that I never act badly. I grew up in a house that, along with praise and encouragement, made darn sure I was aware of any bad behavior or lack of character in myself. It wasn't to make me feel guilty or bad about myself (though sometimes that's unavoidable I guess), it was for the purpose of instruction; becoming aware so that I would be able to change into a virtuous person. Don't confuse a virtuous person with a "good" person as people are so fond of calling themeselves. Everyone seems to think they are "good" people just because they don't kill people, don't rob stores, and occasionally recycle. Well woop dee do! Newsflash: Most people don't go around busting caps in people or knocking over liqour stores. That's why the people who do murder and steal make the news.
          I'm not content with being that kind of person; the kind that stays away from the crazy bad stuff so to speak, but who is otherwise compeletly self-absorbed. I want to go beyond "good" to become a person who has virtue; who is compassionate, generous, and caring. I'm not saying I have those things down. Sometimes it feels like everyday is a battle, but at least I'm fighting.


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